Why Me?
by badly-knitted
Summary: Dee wants to know why JJ persists in jumping all over him. Set soon after the manga. Written for Challenge 23: Explanation at beattheblackdog.


**Title:** Why Me?

 **Author:** badly-knitted

 **Characters:** Dee, Ryo, JJ, Drake.

 **Rating:** PG

 **Setting:** Soon after the manga.

 **Summary:** Dee wants to know why JJ persists in jumping all over him.

 **Word Count:** 894

 **Content Notes:** None necessary.

 **Written For:** Challenge 23: Explanation at beattheblackdog.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

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Some things just defied explanation.

"Why me?" Dee groaned after once again having to fend off JJ's unwanted attentions. "It's not like I've ever given him any encouragement, so why won't he just leave me alone?"

"I don't know," Ryo said with a sympathetic, if slightly amused smile. "Maybe you should be asking him that rather than me."

"Huh. Maybe I will." Dee scowled across the room at JJ, who was back at his desk working now that he'd 'greeted' Dee's arrival at work with the proper enthusiasm. "Later, when I've got my breath back and taped up my ribs." He rubbed his side, wincing, as he slumped into his desk chair. "Maybe at lunch."

Any hope of that was derailed by a new case, which meant Dee and Ryo had to grab a bite to eat while they were out beginning the tedious process of gathering information on both the victim and anyone who might have had reason to want him dead. It wasn't until the end of their shift, when they returned to the precinct to clock off, that they ran into JJ again. As luck would have it, JJ was just getting ready to leave when Dee and Ryo, tired and footsore from a fruitless afternoon chasing down leads that went nowhere, trudged up to the squad room.

"Deeeeeee! Mister Studly, I've missed you soooo much!"

"Oh God, not again! Save me, Ryo!" Dee hurriedly tried to take refuge behind his smaller partner, but Ryo sidestepped out of the way.

"Now might be a good opportunity to ask for that explanation you wanted," he smirked as JJ swarmed over Dee, apparently trying to squeeze the life out of him for the second time that day.

"GET OFF ME!" Dee bellowed, squirming free with some difficulty and shoving JJ away from him. He must have used a bit more force than he perhaps should have, as JJ stumbled backwards, arms flailing, and sat down hard on the floor. "What is the matter with you?"

"Why'd you push me? I was only saying hello!" JJ looked up at Dee, blue eyes wide and a wounded expression on his face.

"Throwing yourself at me and clinging like a deranged limpet is NOT saying hello! Why d'you keep on doing this?"

Scrambling to his feet and dusting his pants off, JJ stared at Dee in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Every time you see me, you jump all over me, tryin' to kiss me, groping, prattling on about stuff I don't even bother listening to. Why won't you just give up and leave me alone?"

It seemed a ridiculous question to JJ, but he answered it anyway. "I love you!"

"No, JJ, that's not love, it's blind obsession! Back at the Academy you were an annoying nuisance, but now you're acting like a stalker. I've told you over and over again that I'm not interested, never have been and never will be. I've asked you nicely to stop; hell, I've begged, pleaded, and even ordered you to leave me alone for all the good it's done. You just don't listen!"

"But I just want to show you how much I care about you!"

"And you think giving me bruised ribs and the occasional concussion will make me like you? Not gonna happen. If you genuinely cared about me at all, you'd do as I ask and just leave me be! Why can't you understand that? What will it take to make you stop jumpin' on me?"

JJ brightened. "You could take me out on a date, I know a great place we could go, you'd love it!"

"No! I am not goin' on a date with you, not now, not next week, or next month, or next year. Not ever! Find someone else to obsess over; I'm done. Or do I have to take out a restraining order against you?"

"You wouldn't!" JJ's eyes went wide.

Dee drew himself up to his full height and glared stonily down at the smaller man. "Try me!"

"But… But…"

"C'mon, JJ." Drake hustled over, draping an arm around his partner's shoulders and gently steering the confused and bewildered man away. "Let's get outta here before Dee blows a fuse. I'll buy you a hot chocolate at that deli down the street, that'll make you feel better. Only, you might have to loan me a few bucks, I'm a bit short this week."

"Why, Drakey? Why doesn't Dee like me? I'd be good to him, really I would. I'd shower him with love every single day if he let me. I know I could make him happy."

"Guess he'd rather be the one doing the chasing," Drake said, trying to console his friend. "Besides, Dee's set his sights on Ryo and it doesn't look like that'll change any time soon. Face it buddy, you're barking up the wrong tree with Dee. You can't force someone to love you, no matter how much it hurts when they don't feel the way you do."

"But why?"

"Dunno," Drake sighed, thinking of his own disastrous love life. He tried so hard but girlfriends just slipped through his fingers like water. Seemed like whatever he did, it was always the wrong thing. When it came to love, he didn't have any more luck than JJ did. "I guess some things just defy explanation."

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The End


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